Caring for a Physically Disabled Loved One with Dementia

As the vast majority of people diagnosed with dementia are seniors, it is likely your loved one may be dealing with a physical disability already.

Every dementia case is going to be unique to the individual regardless of their physical or mental ability. Some people with physical disabilities may do just fine with simple aids and modifications such as a wheelchair and ramps, things they likely already had knowledge of and access to prior to their diagnosis. Others may be unable to care for themselves and need 24-hour care. Even two patients with the same condition may have varying degrees of a physical handicap. Or someone may have a condition that changes significantly over time.

Physical disabilities may occur unexpectedly, such as those induced by an accident, or a sudden illness, such as a stroke. In those circumstances, you may be thrown into the role of caregiver with little time to acclimatize. In other cases, your family member or other loved one may progressively lose their capacity to do daily physical duties, gradually leading you to take on more responsibilities over time.

When does it become a serious issue?

If your older loved one has a physical disability and lives alone or with others who may not be able to assist them safely, you may be anxious about how they will cope. A physical disability restricting their mobility can be another hurdle of isolation for your loved one — it can already be difficult for seniors to engage in hobbies and activities they once enjoyed, particularly if there are accessible needs that need to be met. Ensure your loved one isn’t being neglected in this avenue, as socialization and a change of environment can be paramount to a senior’s health.

They may also find it more challenging to go to the store. As they have also been diagnosed with dementia, accompanying them (or going in their stead) to the grocery store is something that will be on the horizon for you and other caretakers. Begin incorporating this into the care routine, and enlist outside help to assist if needed, such as a grandchild with a driver’s license or a care volunteer. Assistance with meal prepping may also likely be needed in the early stages, depending on the disability.

In the early stages of dementia, a physical disability may not be a huge change from their typical routine, especially if it is something they have been living with for a while. There are a few things to be aware of typical to a dementia diagnosis.

Caregiving at home may involve the following responsibilities:

  • Assisting with chores, or taking them on completely.
  • Personal care assistance (dressing, toileting, hygiene, eating, walking, transferring).
  • Ensuring medication is taken and giving assistance when needed.
  • Direct care worker hiring and supervision.
  • Organizing and providing transportation.
  • Assisting with medical appointments and hospitalization.
  • Initiating discussions regarding care requirements, such as when to stop driving.
  • Care coordination throughout transitions, such as from the hospital to the home.

When they have difficulty with an activity, it may be tempting to jump right in and assist them. It is best to be patient and encourage them to do as much of each chore on their own as possible. Concentrate on their skills rather than their limitations. This can help maintain a sense of independence and boost their self-esteem.

At the same time, take care not to push them to accomplish things they cannot perform. This might make them feel like they have failed, but it can also lead to them pushing themselves past their physical limits, potentially harming themselves.

Be informed

It’s important to keep track of information about your loved one’s health and communicate observations and concerns with everyone involved in their case. Taking the time to read on your loved one’s disability and their dementia diagnosis will allow you to make more informed health choices and better understand any issues your family may encounter. Better yet, if you can, speak to your loved one about it directly.

Take note of how others treat the individual with special needs. Elder abuse is a tragic issue that can happen in care spaces, so it’s important to be aware of indicators of mental or physical abuse.

Advocate for your loved one

  • Communicate their needs with other caregivers and medical staff clearly.
  • Ask questions and research ahead of time. For example, if your disabled family member uses a wheelchair and you want to arrange a beach trip, determine if the beaches are accessible via vehicle, ramp, or other accessible equipment.
  • Inform other caregivers of any particular situations or conditions. For example, if your disabled family member has a latex allergy, notify dental or medical professionals when you take them.
  • Keep and maintain records of your disabled family member’s medical history.
  • Learn about the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Family and Medical Leave Act, and other state and federal laws. Understand how and when to use them in your specific scenario.

Remember that persons with disabilities are no different than everyone else. They want to be treated with dignity and have their humanity acknowledged. Deepen your relationship with your patient. It is critical to get to know the individual beyond the Disability. Many impaired people believe that their condition does not define them.

You will be able to give great care to your loved one if you treat them with respect and decency and take the time to observe their disability and their limits. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when you aren’t sure — it’s always better to seek clarification than deal with misunderstandings, especially when it comes to a condition like dementia.

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