Resolving Family Conflict While Taking Care of a Dementia Patient

One of the leading causes of family conflict is taking care of a loved one with a chronic illness, especially someone with a progressive condition such as dementia. Sibling, relative, or spousal conflict may have a catastrophic impact on family relationships and put unnecessary stress on caregivers. According to the Committee on Family Caregiving for Older Adults, siblings were identified as the most significant cause of interpersonal stress in a survey of women caring for parents with dementia.

It may be emotionally and practically challenging when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia, particularly when making decisions and taking on the responsibility of providing care. To effectively help your loved one, the ultimate objective is to bring your family together.

The approach to treating Alzheimer’s disease and dementia

Giving care to a person with Alzheimer’s or dementia may be a protracted, demanding, and often emotional process. However, you are not alone. More than 16 million individuals in the US and millions more worldwide are caring for a person with dementia. Since there is presently no cure for Alzheimer’s or dementia, the most significant impact on your loved one’s quality of life is often your caring and support. That is a fantastic gift.

However, providing care may end up dominating a person’s life, especially in cases of late-stage dementia. As your loved one’s cognitive, physical, and functional abilities gradually decrease over time, it’s easy to feel overworked and neglect your health and well-being. Many dementia caregivers report feeling depressed, worried, or even burned out. The stress of caring may increase your risk for significant health problems. And almost all caregivers for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s experience times of hopelessness, anxiety, loneliness, and exhaustion at some point in time. Seeking help and support along the way is not a luxury you’re selfish to seek out; it is a necessity for anyone taking on this responsibility.

The caring experience may vary significantly from person to person, just as each person’s Alzheimer’s or dementia advances differently. However, there are caregiving practices that may support you and make your journey more gratifying.

6 suggestions to encourage family cooperation in dementia care

1. Communicate consistently

Communication with family members is crucial, especially if you are the primary caregiver and your children, siblings, or other family members don’t live close by. Behavioral indicators associated with dementia frequently change. Frequent communication and learning about the condition might make it easier to facilitate productive dialogues. Contact can be made by the phone, email, postal mail, social media, or other means. Video chatting can be a great way to give loved ones far away a sense of perspective on you and your dementia patient’s current state, as well as connect them more organically to both of you.

2. Practice Compassion

Everyone is affected by complex events differently, so before becoming angry or offended, take a step back to visualize each individual family member’s perspective. By approaching the problem in this manner, you’ll be better able to collaborate on a workable solution that prioritizes you and your loved one’s well-being. As an example, perhaps your brother could not emotionally handle Mom losing her memory. If that’s the case, maybe he can assist by contributing more financially to her care.

3. Request Support

Inform your family members if you feel overburdened by the care obligation (without complaining or placing blame on others). If you don’t let them know the difficulties you’re having and how they specifically can assist, they may be led to believe you’re doing things just fine on your own.

The saying “many hands make light work” is true. The rigors of caring may often impact a caregiver’s physical and mental health. According to the Center for Disease Control, caregivers of persons with dementia are more likely to experience anxiety, sadness, and a lower quality of life. When you need assistance, ask for it and be explicit in your requests so that others know how to assist you most effectively. Try asking where other family members are most eager to help, as they may provide a distinct, valuable perspective, or have a better sense of what they are good at or comfortable with.

4. Agree on decisions as a group

Even if you are the primary caregiver, talk to your family before making any important care decisions. Maybe you think Dad’s Alzheimer’s has gotten so bad that he needs additional assistance to stay safe at home, and you’re thinking of hiring a capable in-home caretaker.

Consider the benefits, drawbacks, potential financial consequences, and other options before making a decision. If you take into account their suggestions and viewpoints, it will be simpler to get rid of unpleasant hard feelings.

5. Let go of small conflicts from the past

Of course it’s easier said than done, but the strain of providing care for a family member who has Alzheimer’s disease might make family conflicts worse. Taking a step back and seeing how difficulties from the past still affect your relationships now might help you see your current situation from a fresh new angle. Adversity can bring people together or push them further apart — take steps in practicing compassion and empathy with each other to ensure that bonds are mended, not burned.

6. Use a mediating service

Family problems might sometimes become too complex or emotionally charged to resolve on your own. A third party may offer an objective voice of reason, such as a third-party mediator like a friend or distant relative, or especially a professional like a therapist, counselor, or even a doctor or geriatric care manager.

Families can best provide their loved ones with the utmost care when they work together as a team. No matter your background or present circumstances, all partnerships are ongoing projects. You and your family may be guided toward reconciliation by seeing how attempts to reconcile eventually benefit everyone.

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